Trust
This is a concept that has always fascinated me. The extent of it is endless. When a little kid jumps to a pool because his mother is telling him to do so, this is trust. When we talk about religion, this is trust. When we blindly believe in another person, this is trust. Strong concept. Totally linked with faith. In fact I am not sure I could explain the exact difference between the two words.
Some years ago, I went to a training program for team building. Ten work colleagues in total. Three days in a hotel, isolated from the office and from the world in general. I went there expecting a typical training program with some theoretical ideas, and some workshops. I was wrong. The three days we were making physical exercises or lets say games. We put our bodies, the only ones we have, under the responsibility or our mates. As the course was progressing, we were each time more confident in the rest. We did things we never thought we could do. Because we trusted the others. I remember the last exercise (I remember all of them). One guy 1,93 tall running towards a 3 meters wood wall. Over the wall, like in a balcony, three girls, none of them specially muscled, holding him when he jumped. We had to catch him and lift him. We did. I still don't know how, but we did.
Trust is that wonderful feeling in which you can get totally inmersed. It's a fulfilling sensation. When you really trust someone, you are completely sure that he will never disappoint you. And when the other person behaves as expected, you feel happy. You feel happy because you took the risk of trusting and you were right doing it. I think that when someone makes risk sports, it feels almost the same. The only difference is that these are risk soul sports.
But trust is at the same time a strong and a fragile feeling. Probably because when we trust someone we have our hearts totally open and without any defense, a slight shadow, a small reason can awake our sense of alert. We can feel easily suspicious, because we give so much of us to a person we trust, that we don't want to be disappointed. We don't want to feel that we gave so much to the wrong person.
If we have ever been betrayed (and all of us have been betrayed some time), then if there are some signals that make us think this could happen again, we feel scared. Even terrified. Because it is not only the possibility of being disappointed (or something worse) again. It is as well the memories of what happened before. And this hurts.
So maybe we will show our distrust to the person that has given a signal that probably has been misunderstood. And we will hurt this person. Because no one is guilty for things or wounds other people made before. Thus it is unfair to treat this person with reluctancy.
It is unfair, but looking at it from the other part of the cake (the chocolate part), it is understandable. No one wants to suffer twice for the same reason.
I train myself to trust. I make an effort to do it proactively. Daily. Because I know how good it feels when you are right trusting. And I know how well a person feels when being trusted. This is why sometimes, in my work, I've trusted people no one else was trusting. And they did well. Very well. People change when they feel trusted.
Try it, try to blindly trust someone. Make sure you choose the right person first. And then, trust. Close your eyes and feel in all your body that you will not be disappointed. It works for me :)
Some years ago, I went to a training program for team building. Ten work colleagues in total. Three days in a hotel, isolated from the office and from the world in general. I went there expecting a typical training program with some theoretical ideas, and some workshops. I was wrong. The three days we were making physical exercises or lets say games. We put our bodies, the only ones we have, under the responsibility or our mates. As the course was progressing, we were each time more confident in the rest. We did things we never thought we could do. Because we trusted the others. I remember the last exercise (I remember all of them). One guy 1,93 tall running towards a 3 meters wood wall. Over the wall, like in a balcony, three girls, none of them specially muscled, holding him when he jumped. We had to catch him and lift him. We did. I still don't know how, but we did.
Trust is that wonderful feeling in which you can get totally inmersed. It's a fulfilling sensation. When you really trust someone, you are completely sure that he will never disappoint you. And when the other person behaves as expected, you feel happy. You feel happy because you took the risk of trusting and you were right doing it. I think that when someone makes risk sports, it feels almost the same. The only difference is that these are risk soul sports.
But trust is at the same time a strong and a fragile feeling. Probably because when we trust someone we have our hearts totally open and without any defense, a slight shadow, a small reason can awake our sense of alert. We can feel easily suspicious, because we give so much of us to a person we trust, that we don't want to be disappointed. We don't want to feel that we gave so much to the wrong person.
If we have ever been betrayed (and all of us have been betrayed some time), then if there are some signals that make us think this could happen again, we feel scared. Even terrified. Because it is not only the possibility of being disappointed (or something worse) again. It is as well the memories of what happened before. And this hurts.
So maybe we will show our distrust to the person that has given a signal that probably has been misunderstood. And we will hurt this person. Because no one is guilty for things or wounds other people made before. Thus it is unfair to treat this person with reluctancy.
It is unfair, but looking at it from the other part of the cake (the chocolate part), it is understandable. No one wants to suffer twice for the same reason.
I train myself to trust. I make an effort to do it proactively. Daily. Because I know how good it feels when you are right trusting. And I know how well a person feels when being trusted. This is why sometimes, in my work, I've trusted people no one else was trusting. And they did well. Very well. People change when they feel trusted.
Try it, try to blindly trust someone. Make sure you choose the right person first. And then, trust. Close your eyes and feel in all your body that you will not be disappointed. It works for me :)
posted by Morgana at 3:33 am
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